Sacred

Of all my shortcomings, and I have many shortcomings, pronouncing a footballer's name wrong is not one of them. I can even pronounce the Greek players' names perfectly, which is no small feat. Sokratis' last name is child's play to me. It's astonishing, really, especially since I can barely pronounce most words in Malay or English.

God yes I'm bragging. But then football is holy to me, and not knowing any of the footballers' names is akin to blasphemy, at least to me.

So it grates on my nerves when people pronounce footballers' names wrong, especially during this World Cup, most noticeably is Chiellini. In Italian, ch is pronounced as "k", "James" in Spanish is not the same as "James" in English, and "George" in Greek is not the same as "George" in English. Seriously, get your shits together, people, if you want to talk about football live on air.

Hahahah fuck it I sound so condescending.

And I should write this earlier actually, when the Suarez bit Chiellini incident was still fresh. Btw, here's the story. I listen to Capital FM sometimes because they always play 90s songs but I really don't like their DJs. Once a week (I think) they invite a psychologist/psychiatrist (?) and one morning they talked about the biting incident and the whole time they pronounced "Chiellini" as "ci-el-li-ni" which reinforced my belief that women shouldn't talk about things they don't know about (I'm the exception to the rule because I talk about stupid things all the time and people know I'm dumb-dumb anyway). And then on the same day, I listened to Red FM during the drive home and that guy who talked about football with Adam C pronounced it as "ci-el-li-ni" too and that reinforced my belief that everyone shouldn't talk about things they don't know about (again, I'm the exception to the rule).

But I think it wasn't as bad as when Mick Jagger's girlfriend committed suicide and one of the Capital FM DJs asked the psychologist/psychiatrist (?), "what do you think went through her mind at that time?" and the psychologist/psychiatrist (?) coolly answered, "no one will know".

What the fuck Capital FM DJ. Even someone as stupid as me knows what a stupid, illogical question that was.

And this is my unborn son's namesake giving you the smoothest wink in football history.