It's make do not try

I hate auditing NGOs. Well, as of until today I only audited 1 but I'm sure I'll hate auditing them. One of the seniors I'm assisting is currently completing an NGO file left by another senior who left the firm earlier this month and so help me God, this NGO has so many issues. Last Friday, the senior sent me to the client's office to do some shit and because I was lost, I arrived late, about 4PM or something (the senior only told me about needing to go there just before I went to lunch).

When I first stepped into the client's office, the person in-charge quickly told me that I only have until 5 o'clock. That bitch. Unfortunately, the job I did stretched until after 5 o'clock and around 5.30, the senior called me and said that the client complained about me to her. That bitch. I got out from the client's office just before 6PM.

Unfortunately, because I was rushed, I did some mistakes and I only discovered about it on Monday at noon. I told the senior and the senior asked me to call the client and ask her to send me some documents. Oh the senior never met the client before and they only communicate with each other via phone and emails. Just before 4PM, I asked the client whether I could go to the office and fetch the documents myself. Oh I said that because the client said if the documents were so important and I needed it so urgently, why didn't I go there myself. And the client complained about me wanting to go the client at 4PM to the supervisor. THAT FUCKING BITCH.

When I called her this morning, she said some shit about knowing what it feels like to be in my shoes. Konon-konon simpati lah. And then, the next thing I know, the supervisor was mad because I overrode the senior's instructions. And I got a fucking lengthy lecture about the need to maintain a good relationship with a client. Hell shall freeze over if a good relationship between me and the client could materialise.

I've worked with the senior for 3 files already. All 3 files are shit. And since she's resigning in November, she said that maybe I have to do the files next year (because the same people would do the same file every year and since she's the most senior and she's resigning so........) and she's trying to teach me everything she knows. Since I did 2 big mistakes in 2 consecutive weeks, I think she has changed her mind about that.

Because everyone knows how obedient I can be. And even when I'm not trying to bend the rules, the rules would bend themselves when they're in my path. Trouble finds me even when I'm not looking for them. It's hard to live as me.

I'm in my period. Kerjanya asyik nak bengang dengan orang lain je. And I should stop complaining about my work when I know shit about it.

This post cements my belief that I have no talent whatsoever in writing.