red lips and long eyelashes

I still don't get why people equate cleverness with how fast you completed your studies. Yes, after all these times, I still don't get it. I have friends who attempted the same papers 5 or 6 times but I've never ever thought of them as to be any less smarter than everyone else. Aziemah is one of the smartest people I've known even though after nearly 2 years(?)/ 1.5 years(?), she only passed 3? 2? 1? paper(s). I only know that she passed F5 on her first attempt and failed the other 2 papers. She always sidestepped when I asked her about that.

Damn you Aziemah.

Anyway, men are such simple creatures. They only see what they want to see.

I think I've never told anyone about this so read on.

A friend of mine fawned over a colleague. I've never seen her before that so okay, layan je lah. To hear him phrased it, she's Megan Fox, Ashley Greene, Monica Bellucci, Grace Kelly and Lisa Surihani all rolled into one. Each day, the fawning got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore. No I wasn't jealous or anything I swear. If you were in my place you'd know. Dengan mata cantik nya lah, dengan bulu mata lentik nya lah, dengan pipi merah nya lah, macam-macam.

You should know that up until that point, I was the picture of a perfect friend. I told him to ask her to go lunch with us, he said he was segan (memang nak kena penampar bila dengar lelaki cakap macam ni). When I told him to ask her out, he gave excuses after excuses (we found out that she already has a boyfriend not long after that). So okay, suka hati kamulah.

All these conversations took place within the first week after the girl joined the company. About a week after that (I was seriously contemplating murder at this point), I finally got to meet the girl when dumbass finally had the courage to ask the girl to lunch. Good Lord, to say that I was amused is to put it mildly.

Because homegirl wore hazel contact lenses (I really don't get why Malaysians like to wear coloured contacts), fake eyelashes and blusher that would keep MAC, fine, maybe Maybelline in business for 40 years. And good Lord, she has to be one of the most self-absorbed people I've ever met. When I talked abut cats, she would cut me off mid-sentence and told us some long-ass stories about her cats. When my friend mentioned something about football, she would chip in and told us her opinions too (she doesn't like football, bla, bla). In short, she monopolised everyone's unwarranted attention. Ever since then, I'd keep my mouth shut whenever she was around. If you know me, you'd know that it was a Herculean task.

So, why am I writing about her?

This friend just called and told me she wears fake eyelashes. He also complained that she's a stuck-up trick (his words, not mine). Good job, Einstein!

Because I know my friend very well, I asked, "Sekarang ni ada target baru ke?"

And he just laughed. So. Easy. What a scary guy. He falls in and out of love on a monthly basis.

At first, I thought that La Douche was the only one who couldn't see that so I asked my brother, "Rasa-rasa Ayu Raudhah ni pakai bulu mata palsu tak?" (we were watching Nur Kasih at that time). And he answered," Mana ada! Dia cun! Girlfriend mana pakai benda-benda palsu ni!".

Well, if you say so.

Trust me, I have nothing against heavily made-up females. Even my Mom told me to go to any cosmetics counter and ask the cosmetic girl how to apply make-up so that I'd look more grown-up. Yes, I'm that hopeless. Okay I can't put into words what I think right now but maybe this can make you understand why.

If only men knew how much make-up women put on their face just to look natural.

p/s: Lily pun sama jugak. Lupa ke? One word. Jihan.

edit:

Holy cow! I just remembered another friend said something about long eyelashes too. Oh well, it's a boring story anyway.