Self-absorbed people are amazing

Met a few family members today and one of them said that I'm fat.

FAT. Okay now I'm depressed.

It's okay for me to call myself a fat little pig, but you guys have no right to call me that okay because I'm absolutely not fat. Absoluta mente no.

Yeah it doesn't make sense to me either but then I rarely make sense anyway.

You know what's the problem with my body? I have a small frame but with slightly-larger-than-average boobs and slightly-larger-than-average ass. And I have a slightly-larger-than-average girth too. Really. After a meal, you can clearly see my bloated stomach. It would only return to its normal size after I errr....do my business or after a workout. And the last time I worked out was ermmmm......wait....it was......urmmmmm......*dammit whennnnnn?*......oh by the way don't you think that the weather is crazy nowadays? No rain for almost a week.

So anwyay yeah, I have a weird frame. Causes me a lot of distress because I can't find the clothes that really fit me well. If I buy a pair of jeans, the smallest size would fit everywhere else but my butt and if I take a size or two (usually two) bigger than that, only that part would fit the jeans. The same goes when it comes to tops. The XS/S size would stretch at the chest area and M is too big for me. So stressful. Itu belum campur dengan length jeans lagi. Memang kena potong je selalu.

I eat a lot but my metabolism is so high that I'd usually be hungry an hour after that. Actually, according to a Mak Cik at my kampung, it's because I always forget to baca doa makan so the food I eat is shared with the devils. All lies I tell you. Can you believe someone like me can ever forget to baca doa makan?

I'm so mentally buying you a coffin, dear Mak Cik.

One of my many, many cousins had a baby last Friday and I bought the cutest jumpsuits ever! Hahahahah sorry I can't resist telling everyone that because they're just too cute and tiny. Haven't got the chance to meet the family's newest member just yet though but I'm sure he's as cute as his sister and brother. Really . Their father is one of the most good-looking people I've ever met in my entire life I swear.

Too cute for words! Hahah I've become one of those people yang selalu post gambar barang-barang yang dibeli *palms forehead*

And now I think I wanna get married and have lots of babies too.

Self-absorbed people, why are you so funny?