Everyone, please calm down and have a seat (in other words, I can't think of a better title)

Dementia sets in fast these days. Even youngsters have it. The next thing you know, toddlers will have it too.

/thinks for a moment. googles "dementia toddlers" and ........../

Oh shoot. It already has! Now I feel bad for even mentioning it in the first place.

Anyway....

I wonder what it feels like to have a bottomless pit of money at your disposal. To be able to buy anything your heart desires without having to think of how many meals you have to skip, to jet around the world anytime you like it, to be able to piss people off just because you're in the mood to piss people off.

Oh wait, I already do that on a daily basis......

I'd have breakfast at someplace in Kenya (well, it's my dream so play along), lunch in Paris (MACARONS!!!) and dinner in Sam Worthington's bedroom at a harbour in Australia. Oh wait, since I'm sooo rich, I might as well forgo the breakfast and have brunch altogether because I'm going to get used to waking up late. Or I might as well say that I'd only go out for dinner (or supper?) because leaving my house before 8PM would give me indigestion.

The first thing I'd do is ditch all of my friends and replace them with the Paris Hiltons of the world. Oh and rock stars too. And then I'd cease having a crying jag whenever I watch/read about natural disasters because I have to think of myself all the time. I have to remind everyone that my only purpose in life is to look hot. Oh maybe I should stop reading too even though it would give me pains like no other. Can't have that you know. It's widely known that the rich and famous have the IQ of two-year-olds. And since my IQ might be erm...100 times? err...80 times? ummm...50 times? oor... 30 times? fine, 5 times more than that, I have to do something about it.

Of course, I'm gonna be as arrogant as you've never seen me before. I'd put people down like it's my favourite pastime. I'd snort illegal substance as if my life depends on it. And I'd partttyyyyyyyyy every day like there's no tomorrow. Or that 2012 is only 2 years away.

Oh wait, the IQ of a two-year-old, remember? Man, this is so hard.

Aaaaah, so THAT is why I'm not rich. Plus, I'd be a bigger bitch than I am right now if I were rich. There's a blessing in disguise after all about being as poor as a country mouse. And I refuse to call this post "If I were a Billionaire" or something along the line.

FU music festivals. I wanna be there too. And thus the reason why this post is written. The last things I wanted to see when I logged in to my Facebook are the pictures of my ex-friend (we are friends no more because bitch didn't even tell me pun he was going) at Coachella. FU!!!!!!!

p/s: Haha I ask everyone this, but do you know that Witchcraft is a religion? A friend and I were watching Beautiful Bride on Youtube when my eyes caught the word "Wicca" in the comments. Isn't that the awesomest thing?