i'm so beautiful

*for those who don't have body issues and are born gorgeous, please ignore this post*

*on second thought, everyone must read this post, to avoid any perasan case*

i hate my nose. i've lost count how many times i wish that my nose is a bit straighter, or a bit prominent, and less flatlike. there were nights when i used to put a clothspin to my nose so that it would be like one those noses my Indian friends are sporting. but, the next morning, instead of getting a prettier nose, i would end up with an aching nose and an even more aching pride.

i was born with a flat face. i was one the uncutest babies i've ever known. in fact, i was downright ugly. now you know the reason why i never showed any of you my baby pictures. although i've grown up to be beautiful (yes, i know), there were times when i hate my appearance so much that i wished i was taller. and that my friends, brings me to another thing that i hate so much about me.

being a short person is not a problem, but being the shortest of them all has its own disadvantages too, especially when you befriended the tallest girls in school. not until i met Adiba and Anisatul in university that i think that all is good with this world, because both of them are of the same heights as mine. but my happiness was complete when i was in Shah Alam, because almost all of my roomates, with exceptions to Ijan and Jiha, are short. when all of us were together, there was no nasty remarks like, " adik ni darjah berapa?" and such. when i was in my nastiest moods, these people would get a goodly tongue-lashing from me.

i don't hate every part of my body. i kinda like my skin, although i faithfully put on fairness cream every night. i think my skin looks latin enough, don't you think? if Jessica Alba and i were standing side by side you'll be wondering which of us is latin, trust me. if only my skin doesn't brown easily every time i get under the sun, i'll be doubly grateful. my arms are still in two coloured tones from my holiday since i spent the days in short-sleeved t-shirts. no amount of lotion-lathering can make them normal.

i know that i'm not a great beauty. there were the years when i wore size-22 and size-23 jeans because i used to have very narrow hips. i can only thank God that my hips are a little fuller now, maybe because as i age, my metabolism level is getting slower, and thus fatter hips. but i'm happy with all my extra tires and all. you'll understand if you spent your growing up years being skinny as i was. even the cleft on my chin made its first appearance when i was 20.

i'm also ashamed of my teeth. you may not know this, but my bottom teeth overlapped a bit. and my teeth looks kinda horse-y. so, you won't find any photos of me grinning. i made a promise to myself that my first salary will be used to mend my teeth. i'm still thinking whether to put on braces or not, since i'm hoping to find a job which will enable me to make interactions with people. well, a person can hope, right?

oh, by the way, have you heard the song "the boy does nothing" by Alesha Dixon? it's a silly song, but i can't get it out of my head.