i always think of myself as a force to be reckoned with. i know people will laugh and say "budak ni perasan sungguh", but do i really care what people might think?

i know, as a force to be reckoned with (pretend, ok?), i don't have a lot of room for errors, beieve me, people will not let me get away that easily. yes, i know, they can be so cruel sometimes but do they have to act that way? one mistake, and then, oops, out you go. and the most annoying thing is that the mistakes you've done will be remembered for a long, long time.

along the way, i've made lots of mistakes, and i tried not to think much about them. just like in the song "The Greatest View" by Silverchair ("....mistakes don't mean a thing, if you don't regret them....."), i tried not to regret every mistake i did. but it's hard, you know. sometimes i feel like the past is trying to haunt me. sometimes, when i was asleep, i would dream of the past and then i would wake up, sweating profusely. if only i were given a chance to turn back time, i would rectify the situations i was in so that everything will be ok. but unfortunately, i can't.

i'm hurting inside, my mistakes are eating me alive. it's very painful, it even pains me just to think about it. i know that i have to let the memories go, but so long as i cannot forgive myself, how can i let them go?